In his situation, he isn't emotionally or financially ready for a grand commitment move. In one of our conversations, I casually asked him about this thoughts on marriage in general. Its purely beneficial to women only. Build your relationship back to what it was without that marriage issue. He suggests to not worry about the when but to focus on the why. We have a 1 year old daughter together. The relationship was taking a toll on my life.
That marriage with stop an infidelity no, married people have affairs. I just dont think at my age one can play around the way he did. Just for him to tell me that he loves me and is commited to me. I have two kids with my 5 years boyfriend. We both are professional people with good incomes and steady jobs. My sister is big into giving guys ultimatums.
Maybe he really is just waiting for someone else to come along. His life insurance goes to his mother. He is still working very good income but so is mine. Will we never get married? If you two aren't compatible and you can't compromise then don't be afraid to leave. I started by asking myself, Do I want get married one day? I finally have the relationship I deserve after 12 years of putting up with a bunch of shit.
A good marriage is built with mutual commitment, not obligation or guilt. This means that April will now be at a severe disadvantage when she eventually endeavors to rejoin the work force. I refused and walked away. Our first talk about marriage. I am in a similar situation, and I am anxious to put this issue to rest for myself, hurt creeps in on a regular basis now. He asked me to move in with him a couple of times, which I did for a week or so as each time he will ask me to leave again. We ended up almost splitting up over this.
They start getting confused and they start comparing the man they are with to every other man. So stop waiting and stop negotiating in your head for less and less. He will give me anything to make me happy. Most obvious is the fact that he doesn't believe in marriage and therefore does not want to marry me. These probably feel like harsh words.
And he should also be in love with you. We are even looking for a house! Is it because of legitimate hurt or distrust? I have said to him I would get married in a tiny office just us two and a couple of witnesses, but he said he wants to do it properly. Currently hes got my silence treatment and i plan not to involve him in my pregnancy. If your relationship is solid, as you say in your writing, and everything else works and you really want to be with him, waiting three more years should be a reasonable compromise. All the best to you and yours! And after getting to know him he comes off as self absorbed at times and acts as if the world revolves around keeping himself happy. It maybe one of the reason why i personally feel strongly against marriage.
Or is real love still out there? Lol and see me right , get me what i need. I want us all to have the same name and I want him to Barry me. Or are you only looking at your wants and needs? Thanks for the update and good luck with whatever you two decide! And it seems he needs the three years to make absolutely sure that choosing marriage is the right path for him to take. Nor do my parents, despite the fact that they have been happily married for well over 30 years, though just because their parents expected them to. If not, you definitely should so that you can have a better understanding of where he's coming from. Never wait for a man to change his mind.
For important things--------- long term goals, kids, religion, finances, etc. That aside, I can understand why you feel so low on yourself. It's sad but sometimes love isn't enough. You are in love with an idealized impossible image of him, an image that does not actually exist. At first I took his opinions about marriage very personally, which is an understandable reaction.